Party Poopers

The BBC hates people.

It is the only conclusion one can draw from articles like this one, where Tom Geoghegan prattles on for far too long about how the blight of school proms upon our green and pleasant land will bring damnation to us all and run off with our wives, possibly maiming at least several kittens in the process. Fun, it seems, is a bad thing. And if that form of fun happens to (supposedly) originate in the Land of Evil United States then all's the worse. Culture, apparently, is rigid. The way Roman culture was influenced by Greek culture, or the way that American culture was influenced by European culture, it seems, is wrong wrong wrong. People should only engage in cultural practices that originate entirely from their own geographic location. At least that's according to fuckwits like Deborah Hands who reckons 'creeping Americanisation' is a bad thing. Never mind that if American culture is becoming our culture, it is us who are doing it. If British kids are having British proms in Britain, then isn't that British culture? If they got the idea from an American movie, who gives a fuck?

Xenophobia and rampant anti-Americanism aren't the only sources of objection, however. The fact that, like most things, you need to buy stuff for it, and that it is therefore a commercial activity have the hemp-wearers shaking their heads with disgust. That the expenditure of money might lead to the happiness of individuals is a concept simply too unwholesome to stomach. And Deborah perhaps lets slip the real cause of her disapproval when she writes:

But after shelling out for my 16-year-old daughter's prom, I wonder if this trend is getting out of hand... That's right, a prom: ballgowns and long gloves, black ties, cummerbunds, and a king and queen crowned by the teachers. The cost? Twenty quid a ticket - and hundreds on the rest.

Maybe proms aren't 'bad' after all, she's just a cheapskate. Not that she should necessarily be bound to provide funding for her offspring's prom, but why couldn't her daughter have paid for it herself? I didn't actually go to my school prom at the last minute, but if I had it wouldn't have cost me much. After the cost of the ticket (£10-20) all you need is your share of the limo (~£15-25) and a tux (£35+). So a descent prom can cost as little as £60. That's less than 18 hours work on the under-18s minimum wage of £3.40 an hour. That's for guys of course, for gals it's a little costlier but not ever so dear. You'd need a dress (£80+), shoes (£18+) and probably a hair-do - if I remember rightly my girlfriend had hers done for £70. So including ticket and limo that'd be about £193, or 56 hours at £3.40 an hour. Not exactly prohibitive.

As I say, I didn't go to my prom, and I don't feel especially left out. Neither did anyone think any less of me so far as I know, in fact the only reaction I've had is "awwww, you should have come!" from basically everyone. If people think differently of someone, maybe they just think they're a dick? Everyone I know who did go enjoyed it, and I've not heard anybody say a bad word about it. Nobody felt shafted by it, everyone had fun. People Deborah and the BBC need to shut the fuck up and go get laid.